All need not apply/Who says Chivalry is dead?

I had a feel good moment in the weekend gone by. It started out as a dare-devil moment when one of the nuts in my head went loose and I decided to hand wash my car in the freezing cold. Don't ask why, even I have no answer to that.

Anyway, having taken my rather foolish decision, I set to work complete with bucket, cloth, rag, slippers et al. To keep myself amused, I turned on (and up) my car's mp3 player and blasted out some christian tunes and proceeded to work. As I washed, I noticed there was a car parked a little distance from me. The driver whom I couldn't see very well was talking to some guy who was standing on the pavement. They spoke for quite a while and then the car drove off, away from me and up to the street entrance. The guy who had been speaking to the driver also continued on his (merry?) way.

Not quite 5 mins later, I saw the car come back into my street and then into my yard. I pretended not to notice him, and his friend whom I thought had walked far off, re-appeared. He resumed his conversation with the driver. Nothing to do with me I guess, so I continued. It wasn't long before the driver came out of the car. He approached me hesitantly. I glanced at him (read I gave him a swift but thorough once-over) and quickly realised he was Nigerian. Don't ask what a Nigerian looks like, it's just a culmination of the approach, the dressing and the smirk. Come on now, you know there are Nigerians that you see and you just know they are Nigerian lol. Well, he was one of those. I cursed my forehead under my breath (Sometimes, I swear there is a sign on my forehead that says 'All need apply').

He came up to me. I sighed. He proceeded with the usual naija way of chirpsing. I sighed some more. He said a pretty woman like me ought not to be washing my car. I cringed. He asked for my name. I responded. He tried to confirm the spelling of my name. He said "Coral, as in See, ho, haru, hay, hel (C-O-R-A-L). I almost cried. He then insisted on helping me wash the car. Being all independent all all that I am. I refused. He tarried, he pleaded. I stared.

Eventually I relented. I have to say he did a good job. He washed the car real good. Then he washed the cloth. He wiped the car down. Then he washed the cloth again. He wiped the interiors down and washed the cloth, again. Then he got some tyre spray from his car, and got my tyres all sprayed up and shiny. All he wanted at the end was my number...

I will fly...

Set stage: Coral's ample behind is pointed directly at you whilst she brushes the cobwebs of her blog and wipes down the dust. Her eyes catch your pretty outfit as she reaches for the furniture spray...

Oh Hello...

My people...how's yous? (Bright, coy smile...)

Sorry, I have been AWOL. I don't even know where to start? Erm...the speech...yes the speech. (I know I didn't win any of the future or blogger awards but I still have a speesh, thank you). Let me start by giving special shout out to 'the finest thing in the city a.k.a 'Deschikky' for her kind birthday wishes. Dess, that was so nice of you...and to Daddy's girl (I think you are my lost twin), Temmytayo, Calabar girl (abeg, e get message wey I wan send you to Donald Duke o! It's a song so I hope you can sing ehn? Ehen, its Lauryn Hill's Tell him O.k? Abeg, don't do it when his wife is there o!), TLOASCM and Queenb, thanks for the birthday wishes.

I haven't posted in a while because life got real busy (You know-ha-it-tis). From the X-mas celebrations, to assignments, to work, to birthdays...its was all too much. Work in particularly was 'bizzy' as well as challenging. I dont know if I mentioned this before but I have a love-hate relationship with a certain Miss Havisham (in place where I get my daily bread) and let's just say I haven't been experiencing the love side of it since 2007 began, it's not right but it's okay. Lets move on to more interesting things...

So my birthday...I became twenty...twenty erm...twenty-'something' on the 11th. Wow! I can't actually write the words. It's not like I'm ashamed of my age or anything but...I just can't believe I'm that age. Speaking of it or writing it down jolts my mind in a way I can't quite explain and I think I am going through some kind of internal crisis. Can I be honest with you fellow bloggers? Yes? Well, I was soooooooo depressed in the days preceding the 11th. Ah mean, it seemed like just a minute ago I was throwing wild(-ish) parties for my 19th and 21st, and now I 'm twenty-'something'...Where the heck did time go? What did I do with my life? I'm not married yet! No kids! What have I achieved (well...'part from the gorgeous handbag I got me for christmas)?

See, I always thought that at twenty-'something', I would be cruising my own (read fully paid for) con'verb with my 80k a year job, sipping cocktails with the girls on Friday evenings somewhere in the city and telling them about my wedding plans and how well my businesses are going. Needless to say it has not quite panned out that way although I believe I am well on my way there(...well, there's power in positive thinking and all, right?).

Anyway on the eve of my birthday, I was re-evaluating my life, as you do and trying to fight the blue funk and before I knew it the clock struck 12. I have to admit my first thought was 'Aye mi' (my life! for non- indigenes). Then the dreaded calls began: 'Happy Birthday (HB) Coral, how does it feel to be twenty-something?' 'HB Coral, You are old o!','H.B Coral, ah you should be getting married this year', 'H.B, Coral, How old are you now?....Really! Damn, You are grown sha!' The callers were ruthless...ahn ahn and my eyes were very red after the calls.

How did I celebrate? Well...that was another wahala. I mean how do you celebrate being Twenty-something other than have a party. However, I didn't want one because I couldn't be bothered firstly. Secondly, there was just no way I could throw a party that'll could have measured up to my 19th or 21st. So, I decided to go for a drink instead...you know, get plastered, drown my sorrows and all...okay it wasn't that bad...

So it was off to F&B's for some very frothy Banana Mocha cocktails - at least that way I would be fulfilling a very minuscule part of my fantasy i.e. cocktails on a Friday evening. Besides, seeing that I had been teetotal for the last seven years or so, I thought in the spirit of twenty-something I would have a proper drink. Needless to say, half a glass later, I was verrrrrrry chatty...a bit too chatty so I kinda gave up. That notwithstanding I had a good time at the bar, some 20 or so friends and aquaintances turned up and made my evening. I also tried to match-make some of the girls but they didn't play. I think some of them might have been fixated on the fact that they too were already 20 'something' and if not, then they would be in the coming months.

After the drinks we went to see 'The pursuit of Happyness' starring Will smith and his son Jaden. The movie was really nice and Jaden's soooooo cute and smart. (He reminded me why I was and still am resolved to snag an intelligent and well rounded guy. That way, my son has a head start and a good chance of being smart, I think). What else can I say? Lovely lovely movie and it did put things in perspective for me. It also was a tear-jerker (well, it was either that or the drink hehehe) but in the spirit of twenty something I didn't cry...I couldn't anyway as one of my male companions kept on going: 'Babes, you alright?'. (Arrrggggghhhhhhh! sharrap already! all I wanted to do was cry in peace!!!).

After the movie, some of the girls came round mine and the pary began... It was just like the ol' UniX days. Sniff...sniff

Come Saturday morning, we (some 7 of us) went off for skiing lessons. That was REALLY cool. T2 was in her element and the instructor quickly established that 'T2 was the one to watch out for'. Haha. The instructor wouldn't let us (the girls) ski from the top of the slope but the boys were allowed. Not fair!

I never would have thought so but skiing is hard work. For the next 3 days, it felt like my muscles atrophied.

Of course I now see myself heading for a ski resort in the French Alps somewhere on hols. Yep, a resort complete with a 'chalet' and a 'fixer' (you do know what a fixer is right?) to pander to my every need. Forget sun-seeker holidays...that was sooooo last year.

Just in case you're wondering how I chose skiing lessons. Twas simple really, I just chose an activity that was guaranteed to piss 'the girls off'. One that would challenge their comfort. Last year it was horse-riding and many of them protested vehemently with 2 outrightly refusing to participate. This year I had considered a hot air balloon trip round London but it was a bit too cold. Then there was the option of an Helicopter ride and I would have loved to see their faces as the chopper took off but I wasn't going to pay 60 odd pounds and not have the priviledge of flying the damn thing...err..no...plus it won't have fitted all of the girls. So skiing it was and a good choice it was I must say. Daunting, but fun.

After skiing, some more of the girls came to mine and the celebrations continued. At the end of it all, I was hungover from the two-day celebration marathon but at least I felt better about my new age. Matter of fact, I must admit I am already looking forward to my next birthday. Yep! I know what I want already. Flying lessons... (all 'potentials' please take note). I WILL have fun. I WILL enjoy my life (regardless of status, achievements or age). Yes! Majaiye o ri mi. I will grow old gracefully. I'll fly and that should piss the girls off...

N.B Special shout out to I.D. - The Bible says there is a friend that sticks closer than a brother and you are fast becoming that friend. Thanks for being there.

Disclaimer: This post has been written mainly in jest and I am truly grateful to God for an additional year. He has blessed me in many ways and it would be rude not to acknowledge that. I believe in His word which stipulates that there is a season for everything. I am content with where He has placed me and looking forward to where He is taking me.