On the Popo, Politics and the cats...

Hello there...

It feels like I ain't been here in a while.

First things first, Desolaaaaaaaaaa!?! Hmmmnnnnnn, I'm warning you oh!

Okay, so quite a few things have been happening lately...

Firstly, I done done it again. I managed to do 'something' whilst driving and this 'something' pissed the British (Transport) Police off big time. What I did wasn't that bad, really plus I know many peeps who did 'it' and got away with it. But nooooooo...it wouldn't be true to form, if Coral got away with it. After I did 'it' I put on my innocent-I-didn't-quite-realise-I-shouldn't-be-doing-this face but that had no effect whatsoever on the bald bobby who pulled me over. Matter of fact he promptly rewarded (read punished) yours truly with points annnnd a fine!!!! You know, I don't know what it is with me and driving these days but I must admit, it hasn't been going very well of late. When I'm not nudging fellow drivers, I'm acrruing points or disobeying (unintentionally, of course) traffic laws. I have a good mind to sell up my car and stick to the good ol' tube but then again, the thought of spending 2 hours each way on 'cattle cargo ship' does not sit well with me right now. Plus I'd have to walk to the train station in the big freeze that arrived last week or thereabouts. Nahhhhh....I think not.

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In other news, I'm sure you've noticed I have a link to Donald Duke's blog. It's only there because in the last 2 or 3 months, I have become something of a fanatic of his visions and aspirations. So of course I was following the PDP selection process in the lead up to the primaries and so forth. For some reason, I felt confident that PDP in their desire to retain power would naturally choose\vote Donald as their lead candidate seeing that he has a proven track record and is by far the most 'enlightened' candidate they had. For a minute, I forgot about the mentality of power rotations and zoning, of selection rather than election, of historical relationships rather than merit, of power rather than judicious processes. Needless to say, I was rudely awoken by Donald's 'decision' to 'step down' and of course it emerged very quickly that Uncle 'Yar' had been endorsed by 'Big father' and so merit was thrown out of the window.

To say I was saddened is an understatement, not least because Donald was not chosen but because of the unabashed way in which our oligarchic 'fathers' for the umpteenth time, displayed contempt for 'democracy', contempt 'for those doing the right thing', and in many respects 'contempt for its children'. If this is the modus operandi of PDP, I wonder why should they be voted in? Why should we respect them when they clearly have no respect for us? It bothers me to no end that the 'mentality of wrong' is the 'right' in Nigeria. I mean how do you begin to effect a mentality shift?

And so as a young Nigerian, with a passion to see Nigeria progress and take its rightful place in history, I ask...'what can we do to change things? 'As individuals where can we help?'. As the young generation, collectively 'where can we effect change?'

If you do read this...Be sure to leave a comment...

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Unto lighter things, Miss Havisham's cats (yeah yeah, I know, its a bit of an obsession but this woman entertains me, lol) are gone on holidays? Wha? I haven't been on holidays for months and the cats are gone on holidays. Hmmmph! I'm not envious, why should I be? Apparently, the cats aren't allowed to walk when they are off on holidays...well at least until they get to their destination. They have to be carried. Long hissssssssss...

Anyway, before I disappear, I'd like to wish you all a Merry Christmas and a prosperous New Year. Don't forget the true meaning behind the celebrations. It ain't changed. Its still all about Jesus...Jesus the son of God, yes, the One to whom I am now pleading with that He makes the Police lose my details...Are you laughing? A sista gats to try! Lol.

How random can random get?

Can there be any justification for being up at 2.00am on a Saturday morning reading peoples blogs? I mean, shouldn't I be out like other girls my age dancing the night away? or be on the phone entertaining sweet nothings? I don't get this.

So I'm sat here feeling very mellow, smiling to myself whilst reading date's and Alaye's blogs. I'm also thinking as we say in Nigeria "we women don suffer sha!" Ahn ahn? Sigh, I've got to admit tho, I find those boys' blogs quite entertaining...

Anyway back to this mellow feeling...Can somebody tell me, is this the way people on crack feel? It's little wonder they are addicted. It feels a bit like I'm floating on a bed of clouds or about to fly or something similar. The feeling is indescribable. Could I have done some 'e's' without my knowledge? I was at Uni today afterall. I swear all I did today was have 2 cans of redbull and ribena. Actually, come to think about it, perhaps this is the reason those mad men drivers kept on flashing and hooting at me whilst I was driving back from school on Britain most famous (read traffic jam, accident-a-minute) motorway. Perhaps I was driving in the middle of two lanes. Hmmmmmn. I am worried now. If you don't hear from me within the next week, just know I am utilising my right to use the NHS... at least that way I know why I am paying such hefty taxes.

See this is why I don't even bother drinking. I just know if I did, I would be the girl who gets on top of the table and starts dancing so vigorously her weave piece falls off. Honastly! Hmmph! Imagine that. My girls'll probably slink right out of the door (well at least T2 will) and the Pastor will probably take me through series of deliverance sessions on the next church day. Lol.

In case you were wondering, 2 red bulls is what happens when a girl has 2 days to hand in her assignment and it ain't finished and as for the ribena...well... it just is.

Meet the girls...Part 2

Nonny

Hmmn. The first thing you notice about Nonny is the way she is surrounded by an uncanny aura of peace. How she fakes it, only God knows. Ah mean, you would think this girl was a saint. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that she comes with a million dollar smile, is very affable and has an extraordinary ability to listen. I hear she got tired of listening to T2 who we will come to in a minute. Nonny should have been Bri’ish through and through (as in never lived any significant part of her life in Nigeria) but she had the ‘good fortune’ of meeting Jay, T1, T2 and some more of us, consequently Nonny is now more Nigerian than of us put together. (As an aside, I hear my Uni had a recruitment stand at Murtala Mo’mmed).

Nonny and I go back a long way, High school as a matter of fact. Under standard temperature and pressure the girl is sensible; however she does have a mad streak that gives no warning before it seeps out. Ah mean, she left me traumatized at age 17 when she put her finger up my nostril! (Gross? I concur.) Her mad streak also comes out on the dancefloor, this girl can mooove. Yep, if it got a tune then Nonny is bussing a move.

Nonny can be very odd too. She does strange things like not picking up her phone during the week altho’ she’d happily tell you of the conversations she’s had with her numerous admirers which always happen to be during the week. She was also obsessed with her hair at one point but she has calmed a little now. A few years back, Nonny would stand in front of the mirror for an hour at a time at the least and she’d lovingly caress her hair, brush it every which way, and then stroke it, then ruffle it, flick it, straighten it and then start the process all over again. I used to fear for her mental health then…

But now that I think about it, Nonny is reasonably normal, she’s the one everyone goes to when they need a shoulder to cry on, she’s the patient and the kind one who does her best not hurt anyone’s feelings, she gives good advice and she can be quite entertaining. She’s also my party buddy, my travel buddy, my moan-about-life buddy, my feel-good buddy, my dancing buddy. In fact, Nonny’s cool.

T2

T2 is the crunch, the climax, the crescendo, the eruption, you name it and you can call her it. I haven’t given her these names because she’s the closest to me, oh no! T2 is simply drama queen extraordinaire. She has flair for bringin’ the drama on. Normal people walk to the chip shop and back with no incidents. T2 walks to the chip shop, gets bitten by a Chihuahua, falls into the arms of a handsome Nigerian doctor who irritates the livin’ daylights out of her, slaps him, then finally gets to the chip shop where she collapses! Then wakes up screaming ‘somebody call the ambulance’. Okay so I exaggerate a little but T2, she’s such drama; time simply speeds by when you are around her.

In our UNIX days, T2 had three names (read alter egos), T2, Samantha and Ngozi. Ngozi’s the Nigerian version of T2, the (famous) Lagos girls school’s product. Ngozi has a Nigerian accent and is often found with her a sharp object in her dishevelled brown tinted hair, scratching furiously and uttering orgasmic sounds (I kid you not). Other typical traits include unbuckling her trouser before or during a meal, scheming whilst chewing an empty mouth nosily and asking questions and answering them herself. Matter of fact, a typical convo with Ngozi goes like this:

Read Ngozi with the Lagos girl accent.

Ngozi: Coral, I didn’t do anything wrong, did I?
Coral: N…
Ngozi: I mean all I asked him to do was go from London to Birmingham (some 3hrs journey) and get me some chinese
Coral: Yeah, but…
Ngozi: I mean, that’s his problem if he got lost?
Coral: T2,…
Ngozi:That’s his business oh! In fact he shouldn’t call me anymore!
Coral: Oka…
Ngozi: After I didn’t do anything wrong. Or did I? I didn’t!
Coral: wry smile

Yep! That’s Ngozi right there. Samantha on the other hand is T2’s English counterpart. Samantha is very articulate with a fully fledged english accent. Samantha is the public face of T2 and she has a dress sense to kill… with heels to go with that sef. Yes oh. Occasionally Ngozi and Samantha interact cumulating into T2. In UNIX days T2 liked nothing better than charging full steam at an exasperated Nonny especially when we were meant to be revising for exam. I think it gave her some odd sense of relief. As you’d expect, Nonny’ bedroom was always in a state after those oestrogen driven moments whilst a calmed and sedate T2 sashayed home.

T2’s also the one who keeps me up till the wee hours of the morning…with marathon gists or lack of. Oh yes. I think that God called me to play a listening role with her perhaps in preparation for marriage, or people management or just life in general. So I have accepted it with as much grace as I can. T2 loves people but oddly enough she doesn’t like people, of course, this is a feat that only she can manage. T2 is rarely angry …rarely and in the same manner one can rarely be angered by her. T2 would read this and call me pretending to be angry but secretly she’d be flattered. She’d say something like ‘Coral, it’s not your fault! Is it your fault? Its noootttt!’ after which she’d proceed to update me on whatever havoc she has wrecked on her unsuspecting (and very patient) manager or colleague or sibling or friend. I could go on about T2 from now till forever and if I wanted to tell you more, Beta blogger would crash. So let’s move on…

TBC